1. Tall human wearing the exotic pelts of a dozen animals and carrying half a dozen priceless bottles of liquor on his belt. whenever he agrees with someone he bangs his chest and yells "for loot and glory"
2. A shirtless and absurdly well muscled orc leading a caravan of slaves and concubines. very pleasant and helpful to strangers but when he is displeased for any reason he beheads one of his slaves
3. A snail-man wizard who threatens all with his mighty foam and slime magics (not really a wizard totally bluffing)
4. an impossibly old, impossibly wealthy and impossibly ugly woman wearing a veil who desperately wants a local painter to paint her portrait. anyone who sees her face gains insanity, saves vs poison or is otherwise struck by crippling waves of revulsion (depending on your system of choice)
5. Local painter attempting to hide from hideous subject, will go to any lengths to escape her.
6. a Stunningly sexy and cold hearted bureaucrat who's opinion of anyone is proportional to the amount of paperwork they have filed. (ie. if a player submits his tax forms signed in triplicate while applying for a change in local bylaws the bureaucrat may propose)
7. out of work dwarvish miner, always covered in dust. has been secretly digging tunnels under the town for years trying to break into the mayor's basement vault, keeps missing. the entrance to the tunnels is in the graveyard under the grave of his wife.
8. Young courier, 11 years old, swears constantly and writes the names of people he needs to deliver messages to on his wrist. delightful cockney
9. Incredibly fat man with an equally fat wife both very jovial and kind, they buy everyone drinks in an attempt to initiate a massive drunken orgy.... somehow it always works
10. a father preparing to lead 4 of his children out into the woods and abandon them. he has 16 children and cant afford to feed them all.
11. a greasy necromancer who has attached the arms of four victims (10 arms) to his back, beneath his cloak. decent fellow, amazing juggler.
12. puritanical Dock-master or coachman. everyone sleeps with his wife... and his daughter..... and his mother-in-law while he isn't looking.... somehow doesn't notice.
13. blacksmith cursed to answer every question with a question. buying anything is incredibly hard.
14. A narcoleptic elf with a Mohawk that gets kicked out of every bar/inn/library she visits.
15. group of old Navel officers with starched wigs and dusty coats that are 20 years out of fashion. they drink brandy, eat jello and pudding and tell completely impossible war stories. they will challenge anyone to a pistol duel who doesn't believe them. all are actually amazing duellists and 50% of what they say is true.
16. mercenary leader who commands a private army that has been hired to seig a castle by a local noble. he has tuberculosis and coughs up blood constantly. he is looking for a cure.
17. man who brags about sexual conquests, secretly lost his penis in a duel. very frustrated and quick to anger.
18. a local noble woman, only intelligent politician surrounded by fantastic fools. currently getting drunk because recent motion to construct a moat on-top of the city walls passed.... because "that would be pretty awesome".
19. bald hairy guy from the hills will tell long sad stories about his many failed marriages
20. Story teller with a talking dog, he is a pessimist. his dog an optimist. the man knows the tales of the deaths of every adventurer to come through town.... side business selling gear of dead adventurers
21. skittish young girl with a giant book under her arm. she was a wizards apprentice but she blew him up "accidentally" (ya Right) and stole his spell book. much more cunning and sneaky than she seems. does a great innocent girl in danger bit.
22. group of puritanical fantasy protestants wearing black. they grumble a lot and enthusiastically whisper about burning witches. all secretly have witch fetish
23. bookie dressed like a priest, people go to him and look like they are asking for his blessing, really just making bets.
24. An old sewer worker or river boat captain hunting for the giant demonic rat beast that lives in the sewer/river because it ate his sons. he tells crazy tales, no one believes him. (quote lots of moby dick)
25. human Barmaid, was married to a local half-ling, they broke up because he never got a job and just sat in the garden all day. she is stuck with the kids.
26. future evil stepmother with two beautiful daughters looking for a rich Widower. if that fails she will settle for a rich married man and make him a widower.
27. good natured but poor inventor who tries to make useful things but cant seem to invent anything except insanely viscous and cruelly devious death traps. he goes through a lot of assistants.
28. lady who juggles blades. and her friend who swallows swords. together they are an unstoppable combat duo. the one pulling swords out of her mouth and endlessly handing them to her partner who throws them. at the bar for a ladies night out.
29. local baker who secretly loves the tavern owner who is married. when they see each other they throw endless insults back and forth.
30. evil wizard who cant catch a break getting drunk because someone has burned down his wizard tower again. talks alot about mortgages and interest rates.
31. Dervish who broke his ankle. can spin anymore. constantly experiencing crises of faith.
32. Captain of the guard. collects holy relics, defiles them then presents them to the church. secret warlock.
33. A dog that follows anyone who gives it food forever no matter what. secretly a wizard who is stuck in a dog's body and is hoping someone will notice. pathetically adorable.
34. Wizard with no manners at all. an authority on bones, varieties of meat and magical odours. feeds strays dogs and knows only 3 spells. secretly a dog trapped in a wizards body. will do anything to keep things as they are hates being ordered around.
35. An absurdly capable hunter who rides a viscous griffin. OP in every way except that he gets stumbling drunk whenever he drinks even a drop of alcohol. his griffin isn't loyal at all and will run off to be free it if can.
36. Female dwarven circus leader. Plump and round with frizzy hair. surprisingly agile when pressed. Out of work.
37. Farmer who's whole village was slaughtered by dog-men a few years ago. badly shell shocked. barks and howls send him into fits.
38. Elf who seems to be starring out into the distance at all times. he speaks in a whisper tone and his sentences trail off before he finishes his thought. his thoughts are deep with tragedy and memory and grief ten thousand years old.
39. Dwarf economist. his research tells him that all dwarf kind will go extinct in 200 years. the population is too old and isn't having enough babies. in the early stages of planning an aggressive breeding program... all able bodied dwarves must contribute!
40. Gnome........ when he enters the bar have him say something like "adventurers! I have a proposition for you! i would like you too-" then have anyone or everyone in the bar kill him and go back to whatever they were doing.... because gnomes suck
41. group of goblins with a cow that has four saddles on it's back. the goblins have been feeding rocks to the cow and hope to ride it across the ocean/sea/lake floor to get to the other side.
42. abnormally heavy and wet cow with four drowned goblins strapped to its back stumbles in.
43. five generally average fellows who were cursed by a witch. they can only speak to each-other and anyone listening in on them hears only darkly murmuring whispers. people always think they are plotting stuff. total red herring
44. town dung shovel-er. his job is to shovel the crap out of the street. has a wheelbarrow and a shovel and a broken heart. comes in to the tavern to get his dinner but eats outside because of his smell (and so he can see his sweetheart walk home in the evening)
45. eldrich un-dead general, wearing the skin of a merchant. the skin suit is starting to droop a bit. she is super interested in how culture has been developing since she last lead an army thousands of years ago. lots of (fantasy world) pop culture questions.
46. group of plague survivors. they inherited the wealth of everyone in their home town but they had to watch everyone they ever knew die all around them. super depressed and suffering from a massive case of survivors guilt.
47. An epic seer, oracle and fortune teller who can only see future events concerning food and meals. He can tell you your last meal, what an artist ate before starting a great work of art, and describe the petty dinner conversations of people and entities in distant spheres of existence. trys to make whatever prophesy he sees sound important. ie. "Lo! ye shall, in the presence of a smoking pig whilst lights do hang in the air and the youngest servant churns, find thyself face to face with a black pudding which shall surely end thy joys forever!."
48. Old man with a servant. The servant calls the old man admiral and the old man calls the servant Mr. pullings. he owns a small boat and runs an very strictly and ship shape ship. will
49. snake oil salesman. (no really) no one seems to trust him though which is a bummer cus he has excellent snake oil.
50. Goblin wearing the skin of a halfling. dosnt fit well. thinks he is perfectly disguised and attempts to make conversation about Po-aiet-O's and other half-ling type stuff.
51. hairy Pygmy troll who is selling fine housewares travailing salesman style. eats cats. enjoys cheese
52. character obviously from a different piece of fiction familiar to characters/players. lay it on thick. Turns out to be a confused homunculus or golem.
53. group of 6 siblings share ownership of a bar. all are out to kill each other and claim the bar as their own. all think they are being sneaky. whole town goes to the bar every night and watches as they try to secretly do the deed. bar filled with trick steps, unstable chandeliers, poorly mounted swordfish on the wall bottles of poison that look like wine and a half dozen eager assassins, basically perfect for any farce, nobody ever dies somehow. town loves it.
54. man who makes tons of hints that he knows something important. only knows petty secrets about affairs, what X said to Y while Z was out of town etc. but makes it all sound earth shattering. asks a humble fee to spill the details.
55. worlds most unlucky elf. accidents happen around him. people he talks to die in unfortunate ways. people are always slipping, scaffold is always falling, guys with drawn swords stumble and stab each other, people get sick, crops die out and any careful or delicate situation he arrives at will invariably go horribly wrong. somehow he is never hurt in the accidents, he cant help it and he tries to keep his distance.
56. a repo wizard.a gruff wizard who only knows how to cast defencive spells and the infamous curse of " the forlorn dept". anyone struck by the curse will slowly turn to gold, and any body part that fully turns to gold drops off. the curse ends when enough of the victim has turned to gold to pay his depts, the victim completely turns to gold, or the victim manages to pay the dept through other means. is very earthy and pragmatic.
57. dwarf with one leg, one arm two missing eyes and a beared that has half turned to solid gold. famous bookie and gambler occasionally finds himself in dept to the repo wizards
58. old dusty prospector who comes to town every once and a while with sacks of gold nuggets. tells tales of giant ants in the north which dig gold out of the ground and stack it in heaps. perhaps these are tall tales but perhaps there is a nugget of truth
59. thin hungry looking fellow, wise beyond belief. every story of his life comes out like a Greek tragedy (prophesy of doom-trying to defy the prophesy-doom comes to pass because of his actions). everyone who helps him becomes the victim of a tragic situation. ie. accidentally murders lost father, fools around with long lost sister who then kills herself ect.
60. Slavers from the edge of the world who don't speak common. where they come from gold is common and they use it to forge chains for their slaves. they eat only meat and no other race is strong enough to draw and string their bows. quietly and innocently stare at PC's constantly. if PC's try to communicate in any way it will be taken as a huge insult.
61. lovely and hopelessly innocent young girl travelling on her own, secret unicorn in disguise
62. Group of dwarves searching the world (with divining rods) for buried flight stones (rocks lighter than air) these stones are used to levitate air ships, support the weight of impossibly tall structures and to create awesome floating statuary.
63. an elf who is being "driven" around by a hive of brain leeches seeking to find new hosts. The patriarch of the leech hive is an expert "driver" but his sons and daughters are incompetent. PC's will notice alot of strange behaviour (think first time driving a car) as the leeches spread out and set up there own hives in the brains of innocent people.
64. a rag tag group of near dead cheese makers, boat-writes and scribes who narrowly survived the burning of their village by bandits. desperate for work.
65. philosopher who is in the process of writing his master work "the treatise on evil as a moral imperative". the philosopher is harmless now but if nothing is done, then soon he will attempt to prove his thesis through a doomsday plot.
66. local politician who mistakes the party for the mercenaries he hired to assassinate his rivals. sits in corner with a ridiculous flower in his pocket and a suitcase or bag filled with the payment. (the real mercenaries should only arrive after the politician or the PC's leave)
67. female oger who adores anything pretty or handsome. has an amulet that allows her to mind control 3 people at a time. partial to eating children and marrying wealthy gentlemen.
68. three enormous shirtless thugs with awesomely shaped beards led by a young blond girl who calls herself a scientist.
69. Duke natterjack bogtrotter (from the city of Sty in nearby county of suck-marsh). he has no sense of smell and looks like his name sounds but is a goodhearted person and patron of the arts. he is waiting to meet his rival Earl splendiferous von perfectoria for dinner . the earl is the most detestable person imaginable (though he cuts a dashing figure)
70. farmers celebrating the inexplicably over sized fruits and vegetables that are growing in the Fields.
71. group of men crowded around a book of some kind. if anyone comes near they hide the book and make many noises and conversation. the book is a campy romance novel of the worst sort.
72. group of women who appear, at first glance, to be quilting in a circle and gossipping. actually planning an epic heist and are currently deciding which one of them will have to sacrifice themselves (last stand at the alamo style) to pull it off. the quilt they are making is actually a floorplan to a magic vault and the embroidery describes the plan in minute detail.
73. Stone cold, unstoppable, hard as nails mute Medusa bounty Hunter. communicates entirely through meaningful looks and slow purposeful nods. wears a visored black iron helmet when not in full battle mode. think a combination terminator, boba fett, predator.
74. hevy accented and deeply religious medieval communist who is obsessed with sex. he has 9 lives (like a cat). He preaches revolution and violent social reform. every time the players kill him spend one of his lives and tell them that he has survived (it has to be super gruesome however) and has started running away yelling about being murdered. (basically this guy is Rasputin)
75. Wizard who has taken a giant lizard man for an apprentice. lizard man is terrible and magic and inevitably resorts to brute force to do everything. wizard inevitably punishes lizard's failures by firing lighting bolts at the lizard.
76: Professor who is searching for a fabled elvish necropolis. has gathered an epic squad of "archaeologists" with diverse skills (demolitions, grease-man, ranger, gunslinger, scholar of ainchent text ect) to help him follow a vague map through the wilderness. a % of the archaeologists are planing to kill the rest and take the eventual loot.
77. army deserters. they begin as decent folk but as time passes they grow bold and will steal anything, eat everything, take advantage of any innocent young maidens and generally make a nuices of themselves
78: Ol' archer joe,who has the widest brimmed hat you can imagine. a local folk hero. he can shoot 5 arrows in the time it takes a lesser man to shoot one. every local has been saved at some point in their lives by this legendary figure. (he secretly sets up situations so that he can rush in and be the hero, knocks off the competition)
79. recently robbed merchant, blames the gods.
80. Doctor who snatches the homless and experiments on them in his wagon. charming and can figure out how to cure just about any medical problem after experimenting on 1d10 homeless people, roll again if you roll a 10 and add the results (obveously all homeless he experiments on die)
81. regular sized dwarf (race) claiming to be a midget dwarf-giant
82. gnome who rents out the basement continuously shakes the building with explosions. anyone who checks up on him down there finds themselves in a deadly rub-Goldberg machine (lots of spikes and gunpowder) the machine is deigned to bake, slice, butter and perfectly toast bread.
83. cumpulsive liar claims o know the locations of dungeons and treasure beyond imagining. will sell info. never anything at the givin location.
84. Woman with squids for hands... she doesn't talk about what happened to her. the squids have a mind of there own
85. elf who is attempting to set an elvish record for consecutive days spent completely drunk. kegs in the back are dangerously close to being empty and she is 10 years into her record attempt.
86. total raving madman, dressed suspiciously like the duke that used to live in that now abandoned mansion from which no one returns alive.
87. Foreman from nearby quarry talking about the strange indestructible black gate which they found embedded in the marble
88. eldest son of super rich Nobel trying to keep a low profile and get back home.
89. Goblin tailors and seamstresses who work for a famous Goblin designer. they are travailing to the goblin version of Milan for goblin fashion week. the designers current product line is made entirely out of tongues.
90. Female duelist who knows a spell that can cause her rapier to extend or retract infinitely. fresh from a dungeon where she acquired a vial of demon tears.
91. group of mean-spirited dwarfish engineers, disgusted by any and all non-dwarvish-made object they see. moved nearly to violence by any goblin, gnome or elvish craftsmanship.
92. poor out of work shipwright drunkenly ranting about his abilities to build a land-ship/sky-ship/underseavessel or other fantastical mode of transport.if hired to do so 10% chance of success
93. little boy and his adorable dog. both are so cute it hurts. one of them is a demon in disguse
94. Warlock who has sold his soul to a super evil witch. nicest guy ever. hasnt figured out that being a warlock means that he needs to be evil. witch gave him a mutant servent who is teaching him how to be cruel and self serving
95.Old lady who pretends to be helpless and in need. She tells sad sotories of her helplessness and trys to get players to buy her groceries or do things for her. she will grab whatever the players have bought her and sprint away laughing if challenged.
96. secret arsonist dwarf. nails the doors and windows of houses shut and then lights them on fire. never caught. always scouting out opportunities to create new "works of art"
97. Red. the Irish accented womoniseng town guard with firey red hair. simply cannot lose a drinking contest. though many attempt to topple him. The townspeople always gather and bet on the spectacle.
98. Buck Ewe. Enormous, looks like a bodybuilder, acts like a 70's action star (lots of one liners). will do anyone a favor if they can beat him in an arm wrestling contest. secret stash of incredibly valuable bodybuilding trophies
99. Thin limping librarian that is the best and fastest coachman in the world and can drive any vehicle that exists and ride any animal that can be trained at unbelievable speeds with un-erring accuracy.
100. elvish poet, with 1000 year old writers block. She was paid an advance for a new volume of poetry but her publishers deadline is not far away and no one on earth has witnessed the wrath of slighted elvish publishers in the last 10,000 years .
No comments:
Post a Comment