A Wretched Joanna Pt. 2

(the original first session of this campaign was months and months ago, so I only have vague notes on the session, the following are the main plot points.  I don't own the images they are all found images that we used for characters ect. during play)

Our tale begins with a man and a ship.  The man who by all accounts and through any reasonable lens of observation would be called mad; and the ship which, despite being named after the loathed ex-girlfriend of the man, refuses time and again to allow the man to die.

Fenick Marckus Haveshund IX... ect

Our tale begins with an Ex Impirial Gaurd general, Captain Fennick Markus Havershund the IX: the Un-knelt, the breaker of wills, the duke of Andorphon, the butcher of Bukarek, the reaper of Rack’Gol, High Governor of Odeon, Master Commander of the Wretched Joanna… ect….ect….ect… and Anointed Rogue Trade. Our first session begins at a feast aboard his ship meeting his crew for the very first time.

The wretched Joanna, A turbulent calss Heavy Frigate.
 DIMENSIONS: 1.95 Km Long, 0.3 Km abeam
MASS: 7.5 Megatonnes (This is the given value but it just isn't possible. Currently, the ship is half as dense as Styrofoam, meaning the ship is actually probably much heavier than this)
ACCELERATION: 4.3G Max Sustainable
CREW: 25,000 (Small, especially for a ship of this size)

Around the table sits upwards for fifty officers, among them his command crew.   Quintus Maccabeus the ship’s fanatical missionary and second cousin to Fennick.  Gabriel Uhl, The ship’s horribly mutated Navigator, with a history of cowardice and lost vessels.  Chronarch, The ship’s cybernetic Explorator and head tech priest.  Around the table are other characters also, quiet and watchful, NPC’s and backup characters lurking in the shadows waiting for the story to reach out and draw them in. 

It is during this awkward introduction that Fennick decides to challenge his crew to a drinking contest.  Maccabeus the missionary refuses to touch alcohol and tries to argue against any liqueur aboard the ship as the captain fails carouse roll after carouse roll. Chronarch the tech preist sits calmly calculating the number of brain cells being wasted at this very moment.  Moments later after the third failed roll the navigator and the captain are nearly comatose, the various officers around the table stumble around in a drunken cacophony of starched shirts.  Maccabeus the missionary and chronarch the tech priest share a look of disgust and at that precise moment alarms sound through the ship.  An Ork vessel is sighted 2 points to starboard on an intercept course.  The captain drunkenly cheers.
  

Navigator Gabriel Uhl

The wretched Joanna is an old ship, a Turbulent class heavy frigate with a crew of 25,000, it is a small vessel and so it has no internal radio or vox systems.  Instead the ship is filled with a spider web brass tubes all of which lead to the bridge where there is a large brass speaking horn.  Yelling into the horn sends the speakers voice bouncing around the 2km long vessel and sometimes reaching its intended destination.  In game terms it means a hefty minus to command tests, but narratively I means that when the drunken captain (already penalised for his condition) stumbled over to the horn and called for the vessel to beat to quarters, only a small portion of the crew paid any attention. The engines stutter as more power is demanded of them and to few crew flock to their stations.  As the Joanna lurches uneasily forward the captain bellows into an ornate brass tube to engineering. "NEXT TIME THE DRIVE SHUTS DOWN WHEN I RUN OUT MY GUNS I'LL HAVE THAT ENGINSEER'S HEAD!"  Then pours some Amasec down it just to goad the engineer to action....  Chronarch, the head tech priest and Enginseer who is standing unnoticed next to Fennick rolls a few sneak checks and heads down to engineering.

Missonary Quintus Maccabeus

Here we are.  A drunken captain, with drunken bridge officers and an oblivious crew with an Ork warship on a collision course.  For those of you un-familiar with Warhammer 40k, an Ork is a giant green fungus based alien species that only knows how to go to war, they fight in hand to hand combat and can basically survive just about anything.  Ork ships are built for 2 things, ramming other ships and boarding other ships and in both those areas Orks are the best that there are.  Fennick designed the wretched Joanna to ram and bord other ships as well.  He did this so that he could smash the carved statue of his ex-girlfriend’s face, which is on the bow of the ship, into things on a regular basis.  The Wretched Joanna, is a testament to a captain’s broken heart but it is not and never will be the best ship for ramming other vessels.  The ork ship is bigger, it has more crew, more guns, it is crewed by giant bloodthirsty un-killable Orks.  Every player knows that should the ork ship engage the Joanna that the Joanna would almost certainly lose.
                                       

Tech Preist, Head Enginseer and Explorator
Chronarch

Fennick doesn't skip a single drunken beat and the first of many rousing improvised speeches is yelled ineffectually into the brass tubes as he gives the order. Ramming speed. 

Every space combat round amounts to 30 minutes of in game time as giant km long ships clumsily plow through space at incredible speeds.  The combat rages for 10 rounds, so 5 hours of in game combat that amounted to 45 minutes of play.  Over those 10 hours Fennick has sobered up, the Wretched Joanna has been reduced to -3 Hull points, her crew is practically non-existent and moral is approaching mutiny levels of bad.  On the bright side the crumpled Ork vessel is wrapped around the bow of the Wretched Joanna.

                                           

An Ork Pirate Captian

Discussion among the crew as to what should be done now is fierce but Fennick is calm. Fennick wants fame and fortune and he can acquire neither from the ruined wreck wrapped around the bow of his ship… yet. Soon a course is set for the nearest colonised human planet and some careful orbital calculations are made. 

Besides being old, ineffectually built for ramming and full of brass Tubes; The Wretched Joanna has another strange feature.  A device called a Hym Caster.  A hymn caster is basically a sci-fi pipe organ which, when played, jams all electronic communications by flooding every bandwidth with music.

The Joanna slid easily into orbit around the planet Odeon, the ork vessel twisted around it’s bow.  Hails bombard the Joanna from ships in orbit and from the planet’s surface and Fennick’s only answer is the order to activate the hym caster.  Music blares across every frequency and for 15 hours all communication around the planet effectively ceases.  As Chronarch struggles to stop the reactor from exploding in the engine room and Maccabeus struggles to put down petty rebellions in the foredecks. Navigator Uhl Pilots a tricky orbit that intersects that of the planet’s moon.  All the while Fennick projects his voice through the hymn casters relating the epic struggle against the Ork vessel to the populace of Odeon.

At the climax of Fennick’s story, Chronarch manages to tame the Joanna’s reactor, Maccabeus restores order and Gabriel Ulh pulls off the impossible.  Releasing themselves from the Ork wreck and pulling themselves into a new orbit as the ruined vessel smashes into the moon’s surface and explodes.  fireworks and celebrations abound as Fennick succeeds every single charisma roll for a complete victory.

The orks should have easily beaten them.  The reactor should have exploded. The crew should have rebelled. The Joanna should have crashed into the moon and the populous of Odeon should have shot the suspicious vessel from orbit the minuet that it refused to answer any hails.  Instead, thanks to many clutch rolls, The Wretched Joanna survived and Fennick Markus Havershund the IX…. Ect and his crew were welcomed as heroes to the planet.

So begun a legacy of surviving the impossible. And So ends PT. 2 for the story.